


The Flower that Never Bloomed

by fulminataspqr



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Closure, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Canon, Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27364432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fulminataspqr/pseuds/fulminataspqr
Summary: Levi was never a selfish man. He endured a lot of suffering just to save humanity. He never once complained how heavy his responsibilities were, and he knew that she was like that too.But the war has ended and his scars were starting to heal.Perhaps, he should visit her.[COMPLETED]
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman & Levi, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Levi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

It was already morning when Levi Ackerman reached Hizuru. The sun was shining so bright that he had to squint his eyes to properly observed the scenery unfolding before his eyes.

He never intended to visit the place, however; a terrible storm last night almost wrecked the ship he was on. The captain of the ship decided to dock it into the nearest port which happened to be at the east of Hizuru. It would take a week to fix the ship, giving Levi an ample time to explore the country.

Hizuru was a beautiful nation. Even at the port, he could see how vibrant the people are. They look so happy and contented unlike him who's been seeking the said emotions for the last 3 years.

When the war ended, he thought that maybe he could finally find his peace. It was going fine until a familiar feeling burdened him, guilt. He was guilty for being alive while everyone he cherished were buried 6 feet below the ground. That's when Armin suggested to him to try traveling. The guilt did not dissipate but at least he was experiencing it in different places.

He looked around, there were stalls selling seafoods and various trinkets. There were some charms for luck, medicinal herbs and potions for love that made him snort. He is not really the type of person to rely on such useless things.

Then, in the corner of his eye, he noticed a beautiful hairpin adorned with a familiar flower. _Primrose_

"Are you interested with this, sir?" Noticing that Levi is a foreigner, the vendor proudly showed the hairpin. "This is a _tachibana kanzashi_. Your wife would love this" He picked up the hair accessory to properly examine it. The body was made of two metal strips, at the head of it lies a primrose. It was also decorated with dangling flowers that were called _shidare,_ according to the vendor.

"I do not have a wife"

The vendor started fidgeting. "Then a lover, perhaps?" Levi shook his head. The vendor tried to laugh it off but when he saw that Levi did not find it amusing at all, he cleared his throat.

The former captain sighed and handed the man some coins. He instantly left before the vendor could even thank him.

While walking, he was contemplating the reason why he impulsively bought the hair pin. He could buy a lot of things with that money. Far more important things. Yet, when the image of her wearing it came to his mind, his skepticism about the piece of metal in his hand, vanished.

He promised himself that he would never think about her again but the longer he stares at the hairpin, the more he desires to see her.

He missed her very much.

Levi was never a selfish man. He endured a lot of suffering just to save humanity. He never once complained how heavy his responsibilities were, and he knew that she was like that too.

But the war has ended and his scars were starting to heal.

Perhaps, he should visit her. 


	2. Chapter 2

She was scarred like him and it would take a lot of time for her to heal. That's why when she decided to go to Hizuru, it was no surprise. Armin tried to make her stay in Paradis, offering help. While, he, wanted to be with her but Mikasa rejected him. Telling him that they both needed to heal on their own terms. Alone. Separate.

It took him a lot of years, but he finally accepted now that he could not help her back then. Not when he too, needed help. A broken man like him would never complete her with his fragile state. Broken things can hurt someone with their pointed edges, and Levi hated to admit it but everything he touched, would always bleed.

It was a silly notion that he would always laugh about especially when he was drowning in his liquor.

He let her go to find herself and hopefully he made the right choice.

Before he left Paradis, Armin had given him a piece of paper, written on it was Mikasa's address. He has been keeping it for 3 years, avoiding it, too scared that he would unconsciously follow her.

_Visit her when you're ready._

After asking several natives, he finally stopped in front of a small house with a big front yard. The garden was decorated with various flowers. There were some overgrown weeds but it only added a certain homely feeling to it.

The house itself has a wide veranda wherein Levi concluded that it must be a cultural thing since every house he passed by had the same feature.

Is it a really good idea to visit her? She might be happy now and contented. Showing up might only brought back unpleasant memories. He sighed. There's no really a reason for him to see her. So, he decided to leave.

"Captain?" He was frozen in his spot. He spun around and there she was, in front of him, after 6 long years

She changed.

Her hair was longer which was kept into a traditional bun, her face now marked with a sign of maturity. And there's something about her that Levi can't put a finger on. He just knew that she was not the same Mikasa he knew.

However, there were some things about her that remained the same, the scar on her cheek had already faded but it was still a prominent attribute of her pale face.

When she was still a soldier, the scar made her look like a fearsome warrior befitting her title, the girl worth a hundred soldiers.

But now, it transformed her into a subject of a vintage painting. Classy and elegant.

The color of her hair still having the same unusual shade of black as opposed to Levi's where there used to be only black hair, there is now few gray providing some contrast on his head.

And her eyes, still stunning as ever. The past years never dulled them, somehow time only made her eyes more striking and expressive.

Levi grimaced after hearing the military title that he used to have

"I'm not a captain anymore, brat"

Despite his crude answer, Mikasa couldn't help but giggle. He never changed at all. Still the same old Captain Levi that she knows. "I'm not a brat anymore"

_I can see that._


	3. Chapter 3

Mikasa led him inside the living room. There was a small rectangular table and some cushions that Levi found to be very helpful for his knees. Apparently, the people from Hizuru has a different way of sitting, uncomfortable way of sitting.

As he waited for Mikasa’s tea, he could not help himself but roamed around the room. The floor was made of a strange material that he never saw before, as well as the walls. The living room was open, providing a panoramic view of the garden. He also noticed a small pond under a cherry tree.

His sightseeing was interrupted when Mikasa entered, holding a tray full of treats and tea.

He sipped the tea that Mikasa made for him. The tea leaves she brewed were different from what she used to give to him when they were still serving at Survey Corps. Nevertheless, the aftertaste remained the same.

“How are you captain?”

“I told you. I’m not a capt—"he was cut off mid-sentence when the sound of loud footsteps dominated the whole house. Levi deduced that the person was in a hurry based on the tempo of the steps.

Well, he never guessed that the footsteps belonged to a child.

"Mama!”

A little girl wearing attire similar to Mikasa hugged her from behind.

And for a moment, Levi does not know what to react. A million queries were forming in his mind, trying to formulate a valid hypothesis about the small form of human clinging to his former subordinate.

Subsequently, he realized that she was Mikasa’s daughter besides the obvious fact that she literally called her ’Mama’.

There was a gnawing feeling inside him. Of course, Mikasa would eventually have a child. Did he really think that Mikasa would wait for him? Ridiculous.

The little girl’s eyes widened once she acknowledged Levi’s presence, whereby in Mikasa’s point of view was hard to not notice (even though he was lacking in the height department) She immediately hid behind her mother, reluctantly peeking to check out the strange man in their house.

Mikasa laughed on how bashful her daughter was. “Who is he?” She whispered, if you could even call it a whisper because Levi clearly heard her.

“Akemi, he is mama’s friend”

Akemi tilted her head while pouting, thinking really hard.

“Friend? Uncle Eren?”

The short male frowned. As much as he missed the titan shifter, it would really be appreciated if he would not to be confused with Eren, especially coming from Mikasa’s daughter. He painfully dealt with Mikasa’s overbearing obsession about Eren for years, he was not really keen on experiencing it again through her daughter.

“No, it’s not Uncle Eren” Mikasa corrected with a gentle smile.

“Hmm right! Uncle Eren has green eyes and brown hair! Uncle Armin?” Oh, to be mistaken for someone else, again. The mother and daughter tandem were undoubtedly set to break his already broken heart.

He shook his head. “Armin has blond hair and blue eyes”

Levi watched the little girl struggling to identify him. He was about to introduce himself when the little girl squealed, similar to what he always hears from children when they discovered something interesting.

“Uncle Levi!”

Finally.

“That’s right, Akemi” Mikasa patted her small head that made the little girl smile proudly because of her achievement.

He was watching both of them, and he felt something was clenching his heart, pulverizing it into a million pieces over and over.

He was too late, wasn’t he?

Noticing Levi’s stares, the raven-haired girl whispered something on Akemi and she ran outside.

“She looks just like you” he said bitterly after sipping on his tea. He does not know if his bitter tone was an effect of the tea or the emotion threatening to overcome him.

“You think so?”

“Yes. She got your smile” this time he was sincere about it. Mikasa hummed in approval before sipping her tea.

Outside, Akemi was playing with the butterflies. Her laugh echoing throughout the whole front yard. “She’s so energetic. I don’t know where she got that”

“From her father?” He tried to conceal the cracking of his voice when he mentioned the dreaded word, father.

“I guess so”

For a minute, they remained silent as they listened on Akemi’s giggles and loud gasps about the butterfly.

“Where is he?” Levi’s question caught Mikasa’s attention.

Being a single mother, she heard that question a dozen times from everyone.

“I don’t know” Levi frowned realizing that whoever impregnated Mikasa left them.

“And her mother too. I don’t know where they are”

He stared at her, his eyebrows meeting in the middle due to confusion. After making sure that Akemi was out of hearing range, Mikasa explained her situation.

“She’s not my real daughter. I found her on my doorstep when she was just a baby”

Oh

Oh

“Does she know?”

There was an obvious tension in Mikasa’s posture, confirming Levi’s assumption that the little girl was unaware that she was not born from Mikasa’s womb.

“I…I can’t tell her. Not yet”

He was about to pursue the subject more, but the expression on her face was telling him to stop pressing further.

“Can I stay here for a week?” He asked to change the subject. It was not in his plan to stay in her house, desperate to turn the conversation around, it was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

“Sure, captain. You’re always welcome here” Levi nearly melt from Mikasa’s warm smile. The warmth spreading inside him, enveloping him which surprisingly gave him the comfort he was seeking since he started his journey.

There was something between the two of them that could not be described by mere words as they looked into each other’s eyes. Maybe, what they had long ago, never truly left. Just dormant. Waiting for the right moment to bloom again.


	4. Chapter 4

“Why is he so short, mama?”

Mikasa snorted at her daughter’s innocent question. And it amused her that even a child could noticed the unusual correlation of Levi’s height and his appearance. On the other hand, the short male almost gagged on his food.

They were eating dinner peacefully, but Akemi decided to touch a sensitive subject for him, his height.

He would assume that the condescending manner was hereditary, if he did not know that she’s not her former subordinate’s daughter. “Ask him” Levi glared at Mikasa for her suggestion.

“Wouldn’t that be rude?” Akemi asked.

Levi put down his spoon. “What’s rude is talking about someone when he was literally in front of you” He uttered darkly. It turned out he forgot that he was talking to a child.

He immediately lamented when he saw Akemi gulped. In his defense, he was never good at handling children. They either idolized him or wet their pants in his presence. There’s no in between.

“S-sorry” This time it was Mikasa’s time to give him a condemnatory look. He reluctantly gave Akemi a head pat. “I-it’s alright”

They both resumed eating. Once in a while, Akemi would ask Mikasa some odd inquiries. Despite the neverending questions, the mother would patiently answer them.

If he’s in Mikasa’s place he would not last long. Patience is not really his strong suit.

While keeping an eye on both of them, he realized that motherhood suited Mikasa. He has always noticed her natural mother’s instinct when it comes to Eren and Armin. However, seeing her with an actual child somehow imparted a weird tingly feeling inside him.

And even though, he tried to surpass them he couldn’t help but imagine Mikasa with his child, their child.

A little version of him with his eyes and Mikasa’s hair would be nice.

He bitterly chewed the food in his mouth. It seems that his tounge already became accustomed to such bitter taste with the way his mind worked nowadays.

After eating, Levi volunteered to wash the dishes but Mikasa refused, insisting that he should relax since he’s a guest.

Leaving him alone with Mikasa’s daughter.

“Uncle Levi?”

His steel-blue eyes met her black ones. Her eyes were as dark as the night that he felt he was being pulled in it.

She also shared the same shade of hair color with her adoptive mother.

“What?”

“You’re not listening” she accused, straight-face

Without a doubt, Levi saw a part of Mikasa in her. Anyone would assume that she’s her daughter with that inscrutable expression.

He mumbled an apology. “What are we talking about?”

“My mama!” She jumped excitedly and Levi finally got what Mikasa meant when she said that Akemi is too lively. “Was she really strong?”

He smiled fondly upon reminiscing how Mikasa would easily slice a titan’s neck. On the spur of the moment, Her question brought back bittersweet memories he already buried beneath his mind.

“Yes. She’s called ‘The Girl Worth a Hundred Soldiers’” A pretty title befitting her. Levi would never tell, but he rather preferred hers than his 'Humanity’s Strongest’. It has a certain ring to it.

Her eyes sparkled like the brightest star in the night sky. “Tell me about the Titans, Uncle Levi”

And he told her everything he knew about titans. How tall they are, how hideous they look, although he kept from her certain facts like that they can easily devour humans. Or how they bring terror in everyone’s heart.

It felt weird talking with Akemi. He felt like a father to her even though it was a far-fetched idea.

“Uncle Eren is a titan, right?”

Ah, Eren. Leave it to Mikasa’s daughter to be also curious about Eren.

“That bra— I mean Eren is a special case. He’s a titan shifter”

“Mama said that Uncle Eren is a hero”

So, that’s what Mikasa wanted to believe. That Eren is a hero, despite all the war crimes he did. He grimaced. Levi may have forgiven him, but he would never forget the methods he used to obtain the freedom he desired so much. Sacrificing some of their comrades in the process.

It’s still a debatable topic but it’s no use since the man in question was already buried deep below the ground.

“Yeah. Maybe he is”

“Mama said that Uncle Levi is a hero too!” There was an evident look of surprise on his face. “That you are humanity’s strongest!”

“Strength does not really make you a hero”

He was not sure whether he was hero material. It’s another reason why he left Paradis. He can’t handle the pressure resulting from their high opinion of him, looking at him like he was some kind of savior. They painted him as an indisputable hero when in fact he never saved anyone. He was just a sad man with incredible strength. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Akemi, time to sleep”

Akemi groaned, “Eh? 5 more minutes mama”

Mikasa tickled her, which earned a giggle from her. “Stop bothering your uncle Levi. He’s tired and he needs to sleep” The little girl pouted but still followed her mother. “Tell me about Uncle Armin tomorrow, okay?”

Levi beamed, assuring Akemi that there would be a lot of stories to be told tomorrow.

After tucking in her daughter, Mikasa gave Levi a change of clothes and a futon. He was trying to figure out his sleeping arrangement when he heard her.

“Thank you for keeping up with Akemi. She could be so…excited sometimes”

Levi stopped setting up the futon when he heard Mikasa’s voice. Her hair was still in a bun, but she already changed her kimono.

He had to look away because the light from the candle emphasized her eyes reminding him of the phrase 'A calm before the storm’

“It’s fine” he simply said before going back to his business about the futon. He felt Mikasa’s eyes following his movements. “Captain, can we talk?”

And that’s the reason why they were seated on the engawa of her house while drinking tea under the moonlight.

“How’s Armin?” Her voice was quivering for some reason. “He had been writing some books before I left him” Mikasa hummed in approval. They both sipped their tea while basking on the moon’s majestic view.

“When Eren died, I don’t know where to start” she started.

“All my life, I dedicated myself to him. That’s why when he left, I never knew what to do”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I want to apologize, Levi” she continued,

“What we had, it could’ve been beautiful” There was nostalgia in her eyes. Like she just woke up from a dream and realizing that it would never happen again. Their subtle touches, their longing stares, the unspoken words. It was always the 'almost’ for them. Almost confessed. Almost together.

Almost mine

“I’m sorry. If only I was strong enough, I would’ve stay—”

“Stop. Tell me, Mikasa. Did you regret any of this?”

“ I—I…” She couldn’t answer. Because deep down she knew that meeting Akemi was the most beautiful moment of her life. That’s why there were no regrets.

Her daughter was the one who filled the void inside her.

However, she felt the need not to tell Levi about it.

“The truth is I was angry at you for leaving me. I’m…always there for you but when I needed you the most, you left” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. He remained silent for a second.

“I have already forgiven you so don’t even bother to say sorry again” As if reading her mind, she closed her mouth.

“I love you” Mikasa gasped upon hearing the three words she wished he said six years ago.

“I’ve always loved you. It has taken me years, but I know now that two broken people would never fit together. I could never heal you, Mikasa. I…I could never be Eren or the person you needed”

Mikasa’s eyes widened when he pulled a kanzashi from his pocket. He gingerly pinned it in her hair, as he spoke,

“You’re right. What we had…it could’ve been blossomed into something more beautiful. Even so, what you have now is far more beautiful than any what if’s that I have, Mikasa. I will always set you free if it means that I could see that smile in your face”

And that is enough for him. For what his heart truly seeks was not for him. It’s always been for her. It’s always been her.

Levi wiped the tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry” The saddest part was she could never do anything for him but to apologize. Wishing that every 'sorry’ would somehow erase the pain he had.

Mikasa never wanted to hurt him. Never wanted to make him feel lonely. Yet, she did. “I’ve hurt you. I’ve been selfish. I’m sorry”

As Levi cupped her face and whispered that it was not her fault, Mikasa never felt more horrible than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 will be the last part


	5. Chapter 5

Eren Jaeger was one of the most passionate people he knew. No, scratch that. Eren was the most passionate person he knew. Erwin Smith, his commander only coming in second. 

Erwin, he's determined. He knew what he wants and grabs it without hesitation. With Eren, it was different. He wants many things yet he still maintains a firm stand on his beliefs. 

"He never wanted me, though"

Both of them snorted a little on what Mikasa said, very much aware about Eren's perception on her. Their cheeks were flushed due to the liquor Hange procured for them. 

"Then why are you staying beside him?" He asked when the laughter died.

She put down the bottle before facing him and his question. "You won't understand. No one did. Not even Armin". Her words sounded so frigid, it momentarily froze him from his spot. She made it clear that there would be no divulgence of information. 

But, that would not stop him. He did not cajole her to drink just to stay ignorant about her. Especially, when he was this close in breaking her rigid shell.

"Try me"

He shifted from his position to get a proper look on her face. God, she looked so beautiful. She should not look attractive with her drunken state but she sure did. He was never an artistic person but he would gladly paint her with his own colors, describe her in a poem or sing about the way his heart fluttered whenever she's near. 

She was glowing like a goddess and he thought that maybe he finally found his religion. 

A fluttering of a red fabric distracted him and he frowned when he realized that it was the filthy scarf that she got from Jaeger. Perhaps, her shell was that piece of tattered garment because when she retracted her head safely in the scarf, she resembled an anxious turtle. 

"I love him"

He hummed and drank. Suddenly, the alcohol felt like a poison to him. It was stinging his throat all the way down to his abdomen where the sensation spread out. It was bitter

"Everyone knows that" his sentence came out venomous. He cursed himself silently, blaming the alcohol for making him sound like a jealous teenager.

Eren Jaeger despite all his lapses, he still has her beside him. What a lucky boy. If only he was as lucky as him. 

"No. It was different. Eren he's..." Her silver eyes radiated intense emotions mirroring his when he's looking at her.

She opened her mouth, only to close it again when she couldn't find the right words to describe what she feels about the titan shifter. She took another long sip. "I told you, it's complicated" 

He opted on looking at the stars instead of mulling on what she just said. Cause any minute now he would probably bend his knees and beg for her affection, given his muddled brain and wretched heart.

_What a pathetic sight_

He was hurting so bad that he wanted to rip open his chest, remove his miserable heart and pulverized it until it becomes numb again. Like it was used to.

"How about you, captain? Any woman in your life?"

He contemplated for a minute. Racking his brains for a possible answer. 

"There was Petra" An image of her crossed his mind, unlike before where guilt would consume him everytime he sees her face, it was different now. There was still the lingering feelings he had for her—Although, he would hardly call it feelings— but, Petra didn't seem to be the source of his self-induced guilt nowadays.

"She was pretty, kind and everything a man would desire. I— I don't deserve her" He never did. How could someone as terrible as him deserve Petra's love?

In the first a place, his heart was not for something as trivial as love. His experiences shaped it into something devoid of emotion. 

Until he met her. His organ for pumping blood gain another function just for her. Beating rapidly when she's around. It was an inconvenience. Truly vexing, annoying, troublesome and he could list all the synonyms in one sitting but he would still gladly accept that bothersome feeling. Because in some way it made him feel more human.

His thoughts came into halt when she cackled. He never heard her do that before. He reminded himself to thank Hange for bringing such a miracle liquid.

"Everything is spinning, captain" he also joined her in laughing. "You're drunk"

She shook her head. "I'm not" she tried to stand up to prove her point. It was clearly disregarded when she stumbled down and fell in his arms. 

And he could clearly see her, now that there face was only inches apart, he could even smell the sharp scent of the drink they were having and her natural scent, driving him insane "You are really drunk"

"If I'm drunk...could I do this?"

It was sudden but still intimate, at least for him. When her lips touched his, he wanted to pull away. While he was still sober enough, while he could still control himself.

But, when he fully tasted the sweetness of her mouth, he lose all his restraints. _So much for being humanity's strongest._

He knew very well he was setting his heart for a heartbreak when he started to undress her. 

He knew it would hurt yet he still let her come to him when she's free. He knew he was just a substitute for someone she can't reach. He knew all of that. But the satisfaction of peeking inside her shell, made up for all the pain. It's beautiful, enchanting. If only he could break it completely. 

It's alright. He may not be a patient man but for her, he would try to break it piece by piece. Until, he could see her very core. Until she could bare herself to him. Not just her nude body, but also her naked soul. Maybe he was asking too much but deep down he was aware that what they had would be the only thing he could get from her, that's why he accepted their circumstances. Forcing an unspoken rule for him to never ask for more.

He's a fool for her and it's fine.

"I'm going to Hizuru" Her face was back when she was still wary about him. Indifferent. And he could feel her shell becoming impenetrable again. The little hole he patiently bore was starting to close again. 

He understand that she's suffering. After all, he was _grieving_ _too_.

"Is Armin coming with you?" _Can I come with you?_

"No. I'm going there, alone" He was shocked but he tried his best to mask it by turning his back on her.

"When are you coming back?" He asked while trying to choke back the lump forming in his throat.

It was childish and pathetic, getting teary-eyed just because she was going to leave him. She was not even his to begin with.

"I don't know"

"You don't know" he echoed to fully understand what she said.

"I need to collect myself" _Can't you do that beside me?_

"Alright"

"Good bye, Levi" was the last thing she said before leaving him.

"You're really leaving, Uncle Levi?"

He stopped packing his things and faced Akemi. Her innocent face became contorted into confusion, then irritation. "Yes"

"But you said that you're staying for a week" she whined. There were still a lot of things she wanted to ask to her Uncle. The childish curiousity in her wanted to demand a proper explanation.

"Akemi could you please leave Uncle Levi and Mama alone to talk?" She pursed her lips before glaring at Levi. "You promised me" Levi tried to reach for her but she already ran to her room. "Sorry about that" He shook his head. "It's my fault. I shouldn't promise her. I shouldn't stay here" his voice cracked. He was not sure whether it was because of last night confrontation or Akemi's look of disapproval. Either way, both of them hurt as much.

"Levi"

He squeezed his eyes shut. "To be clear, I'm not doing this because of last night. The ship—" A pair of strong arms hug him from behind. Her smell entering his nostril that reminded him of better times. Those moments that they had. "Please" 

Last night, Mikasa realized a lot of things. She was insensitive.

She never noticed what he felt. It was all about Eren. She admit that she saw him as a means of comfort back then. He was the only one who could soothe her, calm her down. It was like he knew where to push or when to pull. And it was stupid of her to be unaware of those delicate touches and gentle gaze.

For the record, she thought that he was pitying her, that's why he was enduring her presence. It never crossed her mind that someone who was so mature like Levi would fall for someone like her. Immature and Delusional

She would not deny that she felt something for him. However, there were far more important things occupying her mind, that she did not give those emotions a second thought.

And Eren. Eren occupied the majority of her small heart.

"I need to go, Mikasa"

"Please, Levi" she did not know what was she was pleading for. She just wanted for him to stay.

"I'm sorry" Apologizing again. This time for being selfish, so she removed her arms.

"Did you...at least love me?" His voice was little, it was filled with hesitation. Hesitation because there's a part of him that did not want to hear her answer. He was betting his heart again. A sigh escaped from his lips before he stood up and headed out.

This time, she remained quiet and let him leave. His question made her doubt the palpitations he caused in her heart and how the tranquility of his presence would fill her up. Were those love?

That's the thing. Love is a complicated matter for her. She never understood why people would restrict it to something as trivial as fluttering and blushing. For she knew that it transcends into something much more intricate. It was too complex for her to explain. She knew she loved Eren. But when it comes to her former captain, it was different. Was it love?

Then she remembered her daughter. Akemi was the one who completed her and gave her another form of love. That kind of love was not as suffocating as what she felt for Eren, where she constantly needed to prove something. Still that was love, just a destructive form of it.

But, her love for Akemi? It was peaceful.

Just like Levi. Another form of love.

"Mama?" There in front of her stood her daughter, looking at her confusedly.

"Why are you crying? Is it because of Uncle Levi?"Mikasa knelt down in front of her child, her beautiful child that showed her that the world was not as cruel as she thought it would be. "Mama loves Uncle Levi"

The word love beside his name sounded so right coming from her mouth. It felt like she completed a puzzle she needed to solve for six long years.

Akemi wanted to ask a lot of questions. Despite her age, she knew that her mother's love for her Uncle Levi was what not making her cry. So, she smiled and wiped her tears.

"If mama loves him, then she should say it to him" Mikasa hugged her tightly.

"I will, Akemi. Wait for me here, okay?"

She nodded her little head and gave Mikasa a thumbs up. "Good luck, mama"

Then, she ran as fast as she could.

Levi took a last glance on Hizuru's port and was about to board his ship when he heard her voice.

"Levi! Captain Levi!"

It felt like the time stopped for them when he turned around and there she was, catching her breath with sweat trickling down her forehead.

"Mikasa?"

He was taken aback when she tackled him into a hug and she kissed him. The same way she did when they were cramped inside his office. The same way when she was sad, happy, excited, scared.

"I love you" she whispered between her ragged breathing. Those three words made the tears in his eyes escaped. They both giggled as their forehead touched. "I love you too"

"I'll wait for you" He traced the contour of her face, burning her picture in his mind. "I'll come back"

This time she would let him inside her shell and their feelings to bloom, _again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, it's done!
> 
> Levi has always been an intimidating character to write. He has this attitude that was so hard to replicate. I wanted to show a different side of him where he struggles on his love for Mikasa. 
> 
> Both of them, Levi and Mikasa, were such a deep character that I think that what I wrote was still lacking buuuuuuut I hope that somehow I managed to scratch the surface.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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